Sometimes I have uncomfortable feelings that come out of nowhere. They don’t seem to be attached to anything in my reality. I can try to find a story to attach it to but it doesn’t seem to make much difference. All I can do is feel it, and be uncomfortable in it, until it goes away. Usually, I will take myself on a walk in nature, or a few, and that can help the energy shift.

I have had one of these feelings for a few days; uncomfortable, with no reason for it I can tell, about nothing in particular. My sleeping was impacted. There was nothing that had happened in my life that would cause me to feel the way I did. I take the attitude towards emotions as visitors that bring a message, and my job is to work out what the message is, and then it can move on. On one of my walks I found something to attach this feeling to. I contemplated this and I allowed myself to get emotional with it. I wanted to see if the emotion had a message around what I had thought of. The feeling alleviated for a day, and then it came back. Very stubborn.

Yesterday I decided it was time to get creative with it. I undertook an Inner Work exercise to see what was going on internally for me, that might help to shift this feeling. I decided to create a mythical story from my internal state. I would identify different elements of the story, then look at each element closely to get some detail and texture around it, and see what overall tale unfolded and what message it brought for me. I’m going to outline the process I undertook, then I’ll also relate the story that emerged for me.

I settled myself somewhere comfortable, where I could both sit and lie down as I chose. I had some water close by and a light blanket. I searched for a YouTube video of some shamanic drumming to provide a meditative background (www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivCOrc1HWxI).

The story that I wanted to create included five elements to explore; the landscape, my character, an animal companion, an oracle or special meaningful object, and a message. I thought about the feeling I had been having, and noted down how it felt to me, how I perceived it, the sort of things it made me think of, the impact it had been having on me, and I noted some questions about it and what the purpose was of doing this exercise.

I put on my headphones and turned on the drumming music. I stayed sitting for most of the exercise and only lay down for the final message element. When lying down I find it is easier for my conscious mind to let go. I started by closing my eyes, and focusing on the feeling, until I could see a landscape appear. I took my time to look around the landscape and get a feel for it. If I had laid out a set of questions for myself they might have been something like; What sort of landscape is it? Where was I standing in the landscape and what could I see? What is the ground like? Is there plant life? What kind of plant life? What was the weather like? Was there sun or storm or rain? What was the air like? Was it dry or damp? What was the general atmosphere of the place? How did it feel to be there? Was I moving through the landscape? Did it stay the same? 

Then I paused, opened my eyes, and wrote down what I had experienced. After writing, I again closed my eyes, and instead of bringing back the feeling, I returned to the landscape. I focused on knowing more about the next element; my character. What was my ‘role’? Was I a traveler, or a magician, or a seeker, a messenger? Where had I come from? Where was I going? Did I have a mission? What was I wearing? What was it like to move in my body in this landscape? And so on.

Again, after experiencing my character, I opened my eyes and made some notes about it, and again I reconnected to the story I had uncovered so far, and I moved on to the next element; my companion creature. This could be a real animal, or a mythical beast, or a supernatural creature, or something imaginary. Once back in my landscape in my character, I thought of a companion, and when one appeared I sought to know as much as I could. What kind of creature is it? What does it look like? How does it move? When and how did we meet? How do we relate to one another? What is its purpose in being my companion? And so on.

After making note, I returned to the story to seek my oracle. This could be anything, but something I carry on myself, something meaningful. Once I identified it, I looked closely at it. What sort of object is it? What colour? What is it made of? Does it do anything? What does it do? What is its purpose? Why does it exist? Why is it important? And so on.

Again, I open my eyes and make notes, and before I go back to my story to find a message, I lie down and cover myself with the blanket. I relax and bring back my story, and look about for a message. This could appear in any of the other elements of the story, or something that simply arises in the mind. I didn’t know how this would appear but once it did, I allowed myself to stay in the story for as long as I wanted, immerse myself in it, before I brought the exercise to an end.

All up, this exercise took about 40 minutes.

Image credit: “Swamp of Sadness”, Neverending Story (1984)

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